It's only Thursday, but at ICEF elementary, the teaching week ends on Thursday which means I successfully completed my first week of teaching. Of course successfully is a wholly subjective term, but I'm still alive and still in the program so I think that qualifies as successful.
My first day teaching was immensely stressful. No matter how prepared I felt I was, sure enough, I wasn't prepared enough. I've discovered, though, that one is never really prepared to teach. There are so many variables and random actions and one is never really sure they are making the right choice.
My first day, which seems like it was ages ago, did not go exactly as planned. Another thing I learned, planning and over planning are not good ideas. The kids were rambunctious, energetic, angry, bored, tired, and every sort of minute detail in between. I didn't think my lesson on "Activating prior knowledge of life in the country" was a great introduction to the teaching world, but I felt certain it wouldn't be a total disaster.
I discovered 3rd graders have a great interest in the word "manure".
The teaching become progressively more familiar from there on out. I use the term familiar because it was not easier or less random or tiring, but simply an act that I became slightly more accustomed to doing. The lessons were no more exciting, no thanks to my "preach, preach, worksheet" style of teaching.
I discovered I'm not capable of being a fun teacher.
The classroom on day 1 was chaos. Not the cutesy, ordered chaos that maintains a dull roar, but the kind of chaos that had me sweating buckets, looking up at the ceiling and praying that the period would end soon. I decided the next day I was going to be a hard ass. For those of you who know me know that that is quite a stretch.
I discovered most kids don't perceive me as threatening.
I slowly started to learn the kids names and which kids did and did not enjoy writing. Most kids didn't, some kids did but most were indifferent. These kids are here for summer school anyway where they typically don't receive grades so it's hard to motivate them to do anything.
I discovered that 3rd graders don't act how you want or think.
The days are really really long. I wake up at 5 am every day and am at the school site until 4:30 every afternoon. We have subway sandwiches every - single - day, chips, apples, raisins and a drink. The same thing. Every. Single. Day. For the next 5 weeks.
I discovered there are only so many combinations of turkey, mayo and pepper.
I realize why people drop out of the program. It's rigorous, both physically and emotionally. I feel so drained from a lack of sleep that sometimes I don't think I can function properly. We're all familiar with those days in college (ha! I can say that now) where we cram the night before and get 2 hours of sleep. Then you take that test and go back to bed. Well-deserved respite. Here, there is no release during the week. You go and go and go and go until your mind and body are on the verge of collapse. Days feel like weeks and the two weeks I've been here felt like years. Some people do fun things on the weekend, but Monday is always just a few hours away.
I discovered that no matter how hard I perceive things to be - I will make it through.
No comments:
Post a Comment